Sometime after temperatures reach beyond 25C, Britain truly begins to lose its collective head. Case in point: when one man in a vest and shorts plugged in a full-size white floor-standing fan to an overground train to keep himself cool in a heatwave in 2024. Down on the underground, another passenger (top off) booted the glass of his train door open after being stuck in the carriage at Euston in 30C due to an electrical failure.
Read: Unlike our linen and silk-clad counterparts in Spain and Portugal, we do not do well as temperatures rise; and the first two things to go out of the busted open window thanks to our lack of aircon and overall heatwave infrastructure? Etiquette – and our work wardrobes.
Dressing for the office in a heatwave (unless you work for a tech start-up where the CEO wears a baseball cap to meetings) should basically follow the same ethos teachers employ when policing uniform alterations come summer term in schools: You can lose the tie and undo your top button. The formality is there, but a degree of comfort should be, too.
So, as temperatures are set to peak at a genuinely frightening 38 degrees this week, these are the items that are only ever suited to the days you’re working from the comfort and privacy of your own home:
Micro shorts
From Paul Mescal to Harry Styles, baring a little more leg has been en vogue for a few seasons now – but never, ever, in the office. No one wants to see their boss’s inner thigh. And especially if it’s hairy. Saying that, you can steer away from the trendy longer-length board shorts too. I mean, have you even left school?
Beach flip-flops
Soft black leather thong sandals are at all the elegant brands this summer, including Reformation, Staud and Massimo Dutti; but that doesn’t mean your beach flip-flops are suddenly suitable on the morning commute. Minus points for bamboo, leave it for the beach.
Boob tubes
One wrong turn away from a nip slip. Plus, you’ll look naked on your Zoom calls. It’s embarrassing; put on a cotton shirt. It’s not that hard.
Open-toed sandals
Men, I’m looking specifically at you. Whether Jesus sandals or Birkenstocks, do not let the unpedicured dogs out at work. Again, especially if they are hairy.
Frayed denim
Cut-offs (skirt or shorts) simply aren’t corporate.
Chronically creased linen
If you sit on the tube in the heat, you’re going to get a line here and there. But there’s a difference between that and looking like someone attempted origami with your co-ord. Jude Law didn’t traverse southern Italy in The Talented Mr Ripley looking like a crumpled tissue.
