Harry and Meghan have their faults, but I admit I feel sorry for them

Turning up unannounced for a Remembrance Service yesterday in the small UK town of Brackley, the Duke of Sussex was a solitary figure.

It couldn’t have been more low-key if it tried – and was more on a level with the Vicar of Dibley than anything grand.

The only fanfare came from his warmth and camaraderie with locals as he mingled in the old market town in Northamptonshire – roughly a 15-minute drive from where he’s thought to be living in the Cotswolds – he wore four military medals and honoured fallen victims of war with a poppy attached to his dark coloured overcoat.

Harry reportedly wanted to pay his respects quietly at a local war memorial. But the realistic chances of him staying out of the spotlight were zero, as locals looked uplifted to have King Charles’s youngest son shaking hands with them outside a pub – and were taking videos and photos.

While it looked awkward, there was genuine passion about his engagement with the crowd. Harry served in the British military for a decade, with two tours of Afghanistan. He also set up the Invictus Games to support wounded, injured, and sick (WIS) military service personnel and veterans.

Only 70 miles away in London, his father, Charles, led his brother, Prince William, the Duke of Edinburgh and the Princess of Wales, towards the Cenotaph in Whitehall.

Queen Camilla and the Princess of Wales – both wearing a formation of three poppies and Kate also wearing earrings belonging to Princess Diana – watched from the balcony of the Foreign Office. Yet, the unfolding scenes in Brackley were confirming Harry’s position as “People’s Prince” like never before. And despite his royal upbringing and a decade serving in the British Army, Harry pulled off cosplaying as a private citizen, in only the way he can – with maybe the exception of his mother decades before him.

And it was Harry alone, with no sign of his wife, the Duchess of Sussex, her absence serving as a reminder of what else the pair are going through. That absence was compounded by the confirmation that Meghan would pull out of the pair’s speech in Brussels tomorrow to open the Lost Screen Memorial. It has, of course, emerged that Meghan’s estranged father, Thomas Markle Sr is under house arrest in his assisted living facility in Florida, after being charged and investigated over possession of child sex abuse material.

Seeing them facing this alone, estranged from their British family and isolated from good friends who have sided with William, it’s no surprise even critics like me are starting to feel sorry desperately sorry for them.

It’s the seventh year Harry has missed the royal family’s annual commemoration at London’s Cenotaph, and it makes his status as a royal outcast hard to ignore.

According to Harry and Meghan’s unauthorised biography, Finding Freedom was apparently left “saddened and disappointed”, when his request for a wreath to be laid at the Cenotaph on Remembrance Sunday in 2020 was turned down because he was no longer a “frontline royal”.

But it must be even harder for Harry this year to miss it. In 2020, he was in California; this year he was a quick, hassle-free drive down the M40 from Oxford, rather than a long flight from LA.

He’s also recently admitted, in no uncertain terms, that he wants to reconcile with his brother and heal the family rift. Harry told GQ last month in a rare, in-depth 42-minute video interview that “with everything else that’s going on in the world, the most important thing is to reconcile”.

Knowing what he and Meghan are facing today, who can’t look at Harry in Brackley and want to hug him?

It’s a sad and sorry sight to see him trooping along for Remembrance Sunday. Yes, there is a long list of family betrayals with tell-alls in TV interviews, a Netflix docuseries, and his memoir Spare but a complex family picture is emerging, one that hints at what other pain was playing out.

Context is everything, and few could deny that Meghan is suffering from the scandal involving her father’s alleged crimes that she’s had to live with since she was handed a letter by the British police in 2019, warning her of the allegations.

She was walked down the aisle by her father-in-law, days after her own father had sold pictures and stories about her to the press. But after his heart attack and leg amputation, it was Megan who was cast as the cruel and heartless victim, and yet she kept her counsel. Not revealing the true reason why she hadn’t allowed him to meet his two grandchildren, Prince Archie, 7 and Princess Lilibet, 5.

In a statement last month, Meghan wrote that, for years, some media organisations had “distorted” her decision to distance herself from her father, and she hoped it could be understood why she had kept her distance from him and did “not allow him to have contact with our children”.

Despite this horrific situation, they are trying their best to overcome it.

Is it time to admit – that no, they’re not perfect, but who is? Everyone has their issues, and we should find it in our hearts to welcome them back in. I understand why the royal family might feel nervous about giving them a second chance, but it certainly looks like they need it, and the royals risk looking uncaring by keeping them out in the cold as they struggle to make sense of everything.

While the future for Harry and Meghan may still lie in joint quasi-royal and low-key events, they deserve a medal for trying. Their recent joint trip to Nottingham last month was a crowd-puller, showing that together they might be good news for the UK, and the royals who are now relying solely on William and Catherine for star power. Harry could be a good role model for Gen Z who, according to a new poll, say they won’t fight for their country in the event of a war.

There must be a kinder way to heal this rift. “Grief is the price we pay for love,” as our late Queen once said. Harry has brought a different kind of grief to the royal family, but love remains the greatest healer. Surely it’s time to let some in.