As claims emerge that Brits are routinely overpaying when splitting restaurant bills, The Independent’s Lydia Spencer-Elliott reports that one in three diners regularly end up covering more than their fair share – a “politeness penalty” that adds up to around £240 a year for the average person.
Much of the conversation focused on the familiar battlefield of the dinner table bill: should everyone split evenly, or should each person pay only for what they ordered? Some readers argued the inviter should take responsibility for the bill altogether, while others insisted fairness means sticking to your own plate and avoiding subsidising someone else’s steak-and-cocktail extravagance.
A recurring theme was just how awkward money talk becomes in real life. Many admitted they’d rather quietly overpay than risk the social cringe of pulling out calculators, challenging the split, or calling out that one friend who “just happened” to order three rounds of drinks and the most expensive dish. Others took a more relaxed view, suggesting it all tends to even out over time anyway.
There were also more pragmatic voices in the mix, pointing to apps, IOUs, or one person paying upfront and sorting it later as ways to dodge the post-dinner maths meltdown.
Here’s what you had to say:
Eating out is expensive
It depends on the group. If it’s a small group of very close friends, maybe, but in a bigger gathering with people you’re not close to, I’d avoid the shared bill thing.
You’re within your rights to ask for your own bill or to pay what you had plus tip. I’d rather do that than spend 50 per cent or more than I should. Eating out and drinks are expensive these days, and we might be talking about the difference between someone having a nice time within their budget or struggling financially for the rest of the month.
Get your own bill
Ask for your own bill.
I had a terrible experience: most of us chose moderate stuff, one bloke wanted fillet steak and fancy wine, I was driving and did not want alcohol. I also don’t like ‘service charges’ – I want the staff to get cash.
Get your calculator out
My partner is French. She always gets out her calculator and works out individual bills. She never tips and always removes the ‘discretionary’ service charge.
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I’m English and I get very embarrassed. She’s got lots of money and I have very little. Says it all really, doesn’t it?
Paying individually
I never understood this here. In Austria and Germany, servers go around the table and each person pays for what they had, so you don’t have all the tension at the beginning of a meal or resentment at the end!
The responsibility of the inviter
I think the practice of bill-splitting is horrible. It is the person who issues the invitation who is responsible for the bill.
You shouldn’t have to subsidise others
People who don’t have much money also like to get together with friends and, if they choose the cheaper items on the menu, they shouldn’t have to subsidise their friends’ expensive choices.
Paying separately depends on the social setting
I think this greatly depends on who you’re with. It’s OK to just pay for what you had; people generally split the rest equally, or with drink rounds it’s quid pro quo.
Where people tend to grumble about it is that the idea of splitting the bill is more than eating the company of people; it’s the shared experience of everyone having what they want with the people they want to have it with, so why wouldn’t you want a share of that.
I don’t have a problem with people doing whatever they want to do, no need to grumble. There are generally plenty of people who don’t care either way and will split the remainder just to avoid having to itemise and work out their proportion of a bill.
Paying upfront and settling later avoids disruption
Best way to pay a bill is to have someone pay it all on a credit card and keep the receipt. They can then ask for payment from the others in the following days. I’m regularly the payer and it only takes a few minutes the following day.
This means you don’t interrupt the flow of the evening with people counting out cash, and everyone pays their fair share.
It all balances out in the long run
They’re your mates! Who cares about a few quid?
Then again I’m lucky to always have mates who make sure they pay their way and buy their round. If we go out for a meal, we always split the bill whether or not someone has had fish and chips and someone else has had fillet mignon. It’s all swings and roundabouts. I just don’t get people who stand at the till itemising a bill person by person.
All of the accounts balance over time
Uh… if some people are overpaying, then the others are getting a proportional benefit, balancing the accounts. You might benefit from one unfair split, only to lose out on the next. At the end of the day, all of the accounts balance. If you are the one constantly being shortchanged, then speak up.
Otherwise, a complete non-issue.
Some of the comments have been edited for this article for brevity and clarity.
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