Cats or dogs? Early bird or night owl? Something serious or a casual fling? This-or-that questions are common fare on dating apps.
In Denver, though, one question, particularly in winter, reigns supreme: Epic or Ikon?
The two pricey ski passes each offer access to different sets of mountain resorts. If you’ve got an Epic pass, you’d better hope your soul mate has one too.
Zoe Greene, a 34-year-old project manager who moved from Los Angeles in 2022, said being a nonskier had limited her dating options.
“There’s a pool of men in Denver — you can take out half of them, maybe even like 60 percent, if you don’t ski or snowboard,” she said.
In Denver, a place that has been ranked among the worst U.S. cities for dating, courtship can require stamina. In addition to the usual anxieties of swiping and going on dates, dating here often involves athleticism and a love of outdoorsy pursuits.
It’s not uncommon to be asked to go hiking or climbing on a first date. “I’m not going on a hike with a man I don’t know,” Greene, a 34-year-old old project manager, said with a laugh, adding, “Have you seen a Lifetime movie?”
As Gen Z and younger millennials are drinking less and focusing on wellness, and sometimes choosing hobbies over hooking up, Denver seems to be combining those priorities into one hyperfit, thrill-seeking dating scene. While single people in cities across the country seek out love at running clubs and in workout classes, Denver — thanks to some combination of geography, topography and the pool of adventurous people there — takes it to the next level.
“People come here because they are trying to escape into the mountains,” said M.J. Guthmann, a 20-year-old art history student. “Denver attracts those types of people who just want to run away.” She, like many Denverites, said there was plenty of “Peter Pan syndrome” in the dating pool, or adults who don’t want to grow up. There’s also Denver’s reputation as a city that is overindexed on single men, earning it the nickname “Menver.”
Her friend, Grace Davis, a parkour athlete, said she met her boyfriend at a gymnastics gym. Davis, 26, was learning how to do a backflip, and he was the coach.
On a first date this summer, Hardy Bousquet, 42, went for a six-mile hike with a woman he met on Hinge. Her profile described her as a “Type 2 fun enthusiast,” Bousquet said, referring to an experience that was miserable in the moment but rewarding in retrospect.
For their second date, his date suggested rock climbing on the Second Flatiron, a popular hiking area in Boulder. She sent him some details on the route in advance.
“I look at it and I’m like, OK, you know, it’s a climb. If it’s dangerous enough, we’ll have a rope, right?” Bousquet, who works in I.T., said. He was wrong.
Instead, the pair free climbed — no ropes — up about 600 feet, as Bousquet’s date, a seasoned climber, coached him on where to place his hands and feet. Things fizzled out after that.
When it comes to the Denver dating scene, “I think people tend to overplay the complexity or difficulties,” Bousquet said, “when maybe they’re just unwilling to solve their own problems.” On a more recent date, he and another woman walked with her dog. (A casual six miles.)
For those living in Denver who do not wish to flirt on 14ers — a term for mountains over 14,000 feet — the prospects can be daunting.
Christina Burns, 31, avoids strenuous activities because she has hypermobility, which makes her prone to injuries. Some dates have pushed her boundaries.
“They’ll say, ‘I really just want to get you out to a rock climbing wall,’” she said.
On a recent Wednesday evening, 80 men and women clutching golf clubs were trying their luck at a golf course outside Denver.
A golf instructor stood in front of the group. “Hit your ball over here if you want kids, and over there if you don’t,” he said, gesturing at target rings on the green. “Hit your ball in between if you’re not sure.”
People putted their balls into their desired rings and then chatted among like-minded potential dates. Team No Kids could be heard joking nervously about dogs and plants.
Karen Richards, founder of the speed dating workout group Two Birds Fit, said golf was a good date activity because of the low barrier to entry.
“You can be a beginner or a skilled golfer and still learn something,” she said of the event. The sport works with varying levels of fitness, whether you want to scale mountains or do something more easygoing.
The golf course was one of the settings where singles in Denver find a happy medium.
Greene, the project manager who avoids hiking dates, now has a boyfriend who broke his ankle snowboarding a few years before they met, she said.
“I’m like, I lucked out, I got you in your retirement phase.”
