Cara Delevingne says substance abuse left her ‘on the edge of self-hatred’

Cara Delevingne has revealed how her past struggles with substance abuse left her “on the edge of so much self-hatred”, forcing her to delay her music career because she “just wouldn’t have been able to hack it” at the time.

Reflecting on abusing multiple illegal drugs during her adolescence, the 34-year-old model and actress told Bustle: “Not being a sober person, I was so all over the place, and was on the edge of so much self-hatred, that putting out music and people having judgement on that — I just wouldn’t have been able to handle it.

“Back then, I could just about cope with people telling me I’m not pretty or ugly or not good at acting, but I couldn’t deal with [scrutiny over my music]. I just wouldn’t have been able to hack it.”

The London-born star highlighted working with singer-songwriter Fiona Apple on her debut album as an “inspiration”.

Delevingne recalled: “The verses of [Need It] were written through us sending pictures of Post-it Notes back and forth to each other, which is now a weird thing to think about. Why did we not just send a Notes app screenshot? But we were like, ‘I need to write this down on a Post-it Note and send it!’

“You can’t really hear her as much in the music, but she’s just been an inspiration to me as a person and as an artist. I absolutely adore her.”

Delevingne, who released her debut album Not Normal in September, previously spoke about trying to “numb” herself as a younger person.

Speaking to Elle, she said: “I feel so much more excited and open about everything at this stage in my life.

“I numbed myself for a pretty long time and felt numb in general, even if I wasn’t numbing myself to what I was doing. I didn’t feel as grateful as I do now because it was just so intense, and I found that whirlwind of being recognised quite difficult. I’m just open to anything at this point.”

If you or someone you know is suffering from drug addiction, you can seek confidential help and support 24-7 from Frank, by calling 0300 123 6600, texting 82111, sending an email or visiting the website here.

In the US, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration can be reached at 1-800-662-HELP.