Olivia Rodrigo and Nicole Kidman are dating finance bros. But should you?

Are you looking for a man in finance?

For years, the finance bro has been one of dating’s most maligned archetypes: the entitled, emotionally unavailable man in a quarter-zip, working punishing hours and measuring his success in salaries, status and expensive watches. He’s ambitious, competitive and, according to the stereotype, more interested in closing deals than opening up about his feelings.

However, a recent string of high-profile relationships has fans questioning whether something has shifted in the dating equilibrium. Nicole Kidman has been seen spending time with private equity investor Michael Reinstein, just months after filing for divorce from her husband of 19 years, country singer Keith Urban. Meanwhile, Olivia Rodrigo has been linked to Julian Croonenberghs, a private equity associate, following her split from British actor Louis Partridge.

When Rodrigo’s relationship came to light this summer, some fans were less than impressed. Some dismissed the romance as an “embarrassing” dating mistake of your twenties, while others questioned whether dating a man in the corporate world was at odds with the singer’s progressive image.

While some see finance bros as a dating no-go, experts insist that most men in the industry actually lean more towards Richard Gere’s romantic businessman in Pretty Woman than Leonardo DiCaprio’s ruthless Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street.

Advertise here

“Just because a man is smart, successful and good-looking doesn’t mean he’s going to treat you badly,” Jaime Bronstein, a licensed relationship therapist based in Chicago, tells The Independent. “They can be nice, they do exist,” she added, noting the importance of a “good mentor and positive influences.”

Bronstein argues that daters should look beyond the stereotypes and judge the individual, rather than making assumptions based on their profession.

“As long as both parties are willing to have empathy toward each other and have the willingness to understand each other and not judge their differences, then it can absolutely work,” says Bronstein.

“I believe the best relationships have no judgment and just love each other unconditionally,” she continues. “They may not have an interest in what the other person [does] but if they show an interest, it’s fun to learn from each other.”

Why Hollywood creatives are dating men in finance

When it comes to understanding why Hollywood women might be drawn to men in finance, Bronstein believes the “opposites attract” theory may offer part of the explanation.

“In the Hollywood world, [celebrities] date each other, but this makes so much more sense because in a relationship, opposites attract,” Bronstein said.

Bronstein hypothesized that just as introverts are drawn to extroverts, free-spirited artists might be attracted to more structure and analytical thinking in a partner.

This can be especially alluring if those traits are in direct contrast to the ones they found in past relationships.

For example, in a June podcast appearance, Rodrigo told the host about her new relationship: “There’s something nice about a nice, normal boy… I like it when people don’t know a ton about my job.”

“Novelty is an aphrodisiac,” New York-based relationship and sex therapist Georgina Vass explained. “We’ve learned from our experiences…it would make sense that they try something alternative with the hope it would yield different results.”

High-profile artists and professional money managers have more similar lifestyles than one might think — which could be the secret to a lasting relationship.

For a start, they can afford to be in the same VIP circles. “It’s a different field, but the outcome in terms of status and perks are similar, so maybe there’s that to bond over,” said Vass.

As much as romantics might try to tiptoe around it, money matters in a relationship. Who earns more, who puts down their card at dinner, and who grew up wealthier can all shape important power dynamics in a partnership.

Taking this dynamic into account, it makes sense that people with the resources would be inclined to skip potential financial imbalances — and avoid future resentment — by dating someone with a comparable income and similar privileges.

“Evolutionarily, if we look at our roots, a lot of people want to seek partners who have comparable or higher socioeconomic or physical status,” Vass said. “That was true before because [women] needed resources, but that’s particularly true for those women, perhaps because it’s familiar.”

Can a finance bro offer more than financial security?

But what if you’re not a rich celebrity – or simply have no interest in building a fortune? Is there still an advantage to dating someone whose career is centred on money?

According to Vass, the appeal may have less to do with a finance bro’s bank balance and more to do with the qualities it takes to succeed in the industry.

“These people would have very high standards to get to this point,” she said, suggesting that someone who is highly driven and motivated may also be willing to put that same effort into maintaining structure and healthy communication in their personal life.

The pressures of the job may also cultivate qualities that are useful in a relationship. Investment bankers, traders and dealmakers are routinely required to solve problems on the fly, make high-stakes decisions and stay composed under pressure – traits that can come in handy outside the office, too.

And while long hours might mean accepting a later dinner reservation, dating someone in a demanding but established profession can offer a different kind of stability to a relationship with someone whose career is more unpredictable. “Not even just in a financial way, but they’re not waiting for their next acting job or music gig,” Bronstein said, noting that they may also spend less time travelling for work than an actor on location or a musician on tour.

There is, perhaps, also something to be said for playing the long game. A finance bro who is rarely home because he’s working towards his next promotion, deal or bonus may eventually reach a point where he has more freedom – and, ideally, more time to spend with the person he’s been working so hard for.

Plus, Brontein says, “a man in a suit always looks good.”