Former Pakistan batter Ahmad Shahzad became visibly emotional while speaking about his prolonged absence from competitive cricket, admitting that missing out this time hurt more than before — mainly because of his son.
Speaking during the Geo News programme ‘Harna Mana Hai’, where he appears as a regular panellist, Shahzad said he still feels a deep desire to return to competitive cricket.
“Yes, of course, I get emotional. If I’m being honest, I feel very sad. I want to play,” he said. “My batchmates are all playing. I feel happy for them, but I do wonder about myself — what were the reasons, why did this happen?”
Shahzad, who was part of Quetta Gladiators’ title-winning side in the PSL, said the days following every auction are particularly difficult for him.
“I have 18 years in this field. For all those things to suddenly go away, I remember it a lot. It makes me want to cry. The first two or three days are very difficult, and it happens every time,” he added.
He also expressed disappointment that, despite remaining part of Pakistan’s cricket system for nearly two decades, no one had formally reached out to him.
“Why is it that no one has the courtesy to come and talk to me and ask, ‘What happened, Ahmad Bhai? Let’s sort it out and do something for Pakistan?’” he said.
The former opener revealed that there was confusion among some franchise officials about his status.
“One team even thought I was banned. Some think Ahmad has retired happily. There is no clarity provided to them by the Pakistan Cricket Board,” Shahzad said.
Taking a lighter turn, he argued that his presence in the league would still attract attention.
“If my name were in the PSL, wouldn’t the profile of the league go up? People would watch — some out of love, some out of hate, some just for fun,” he said, adding, “I know how to speak a bit. I’m a handsome man, I look good in the jersey.”
However, Shahzad stressed that he would not personally approach officials to revive his career.
“A player’s biggest weapon is his respect and his self-esteem. I cannot call someone and say, ‘Let’s sort it out,’” he said.
Speaking about his son, he said: “This time, what hurts most is that he is nine. And he wanted me to play,” pausing briefly.
“He sleeps with me. He says, ‘Baba, I remember you used to play. But now I will remember you better.’ This is the one thing that touched my heart,” he added.
Despite the disappointment, Shehzad said he stood by his choices.
“Otherwise, I am happy with my decisions. I lived by my morals,” he said, as the studio audience applauded his remarks.
