Woman offers pregnant sister hundreds of dollars to not use dream baby name

Sometimes, sisters don’t want to share everything — especially baby names.

In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The Asshole?” Reddit forum, a 30-year-old woman questioned if she was in the wrong for asking her sibling, who’s about to have a baby, not to use her “dream baby name.” The woman’s sister, 27, is eight months pregnant with a baby girl.

The Reddit user explained that while it’s her dream to have children, she’s not sure if she can carry them due to fertility issues.

She was recently talking about baby names with her sister, who “proudly said they chose” the name Isla for her baby girl because it’s “unique and special.” However, the 30-year-old said that she’d always wanted to name her child Isla, which her sister knew.

“I have been saying this since I was a teenager. Everyone in our family knows this,” she explained. “So when she told me her name choice, I told her that she cannot use it because it has been my dream name forever. I explained that if she uses it, she will ruin my future experience if I ever get pregnant.”

While the pregnant woman laughed at this conversation, she later realized her sister was being serious. The soon-to-be mother then told her older sibling: “You might never have kids. I am literally about to give birth,” which the Reddit user thought was a “cruel” comment.

The 30-year-old also told her sibling that if she cared about her, she’d pick a different name. But the mother-to-be is firm on naming her child Isla, which has caused a divide between the family.

However, the older sibling still wanted the name for her baby one day, so she offered to pay her sister a hefty sum to pick a different moniker.

“My parents think she should keep her name because she is the one having the baby, but some cousins agree with me that it is messed up for her to take the name she knows I have wanted for years,” the post continued. “I even offered to pay her $500 to pick something else. She said I am being controlling and weird. She posted about it on Facebook, and now I am getting hate from strangers calling me unhinged.”

In an update to her post, after receiving a lot of criticism in the comments, the Reddit user doubled down on wanting to keep the baby name for her future child.

“People saying ‘you don’t own a name’ — technically true, but morally, I think family should respect each other’s wishes. Second, things have escalated,” she wrote. “My sister posted screenshots of our private messages on Facebook, calling me ‘toxic’ and ‘controlling,’ and now half the family is gossiping.”

She said that if her sibling uses the baby name, she wouldn’t be there when the soon-to-be-parent has a baby shower or even gives birth. The woman’s sister “laughed in [her] face” about this remark.

However, the Reddit user said that she’ll still name her daughter Isla, even if her sister uses that name for her soon-to-be-born baby. While the pregnant woman called this “psychotic,” her older sister “said it’s called consistency.”

The 30-year-old added that she’s taking the next steps to have a child, explaining she’s booked her first IVF consultation. She also noted that her fiancé agrees with her in this situation with her family, and he’s even urging her to announce the baby name now on Instagram as one “reserved for [their] daughter.”

Many Reddit users in the comments encouraged the woman to let her pregnant sister use the name Isla for her baby.

“When you get pregnant, find a new, wonderful name you can use. Would I do what your sister did? No. It’s hurtful. But you’re making yourself look bad by throwing a fit about this,” a stranger wrote. “Let it go and focus on your own life. When you eventually get pregnant, you’ll have a wonderful experience regardless.”

“What your sister said was thoughtless and unkind, but you can’t put ‘dibs’ on a name. Plus, there’s nothing to stop you from calling your daughter Isla as well, or maybe changing it to something similar, e.g. Isla-Marie,” another wrote. “I also think it’s poor form that your sister has put it on Facebook. It is something that should be dealt with privately.”