We shouldn’t know the intimate details of the Coldplay CEO scandal

If there’s anything we’ve learnt this weekend, it’s that it only takes a few hours for the internet to blow up your entire life. On Wednesday, a couple were caught cuddling on the big screen at a Coldplay gig in Foxborough near Boston. So far, so schmaltzy. But when they realised they were on camera, instead of leaning into the moment, they quickly pulled apart: she turned around, he ducked. “Either they’re having an affair or they’re very shy,” teased Chris Martin, blissfully unaware of the online maelstrom that was about to begin.

By the morning, the couple had been identified by the internet as Andy Byron, the married CEO of AI firm Astronomer, and Kristin Cabot, the company’s head of HR. The firm released a statement confirming that its board of directors had launched a formal investigation, and on Saturday, it was announced that Byron had stepped down. “As stated previously, Astronomer is committed to the values and culture that have guided us since our founding,” it added. “Our leaders are expected to set the standard in both conduct and accountability, and recently, that standard was not met.”

The surrounding fracas has been deafening. Not only has the short clip of the couple been completely unavoidable to anyone with a smartphone, but “Andy Byron” has become a trending moniker. His name quickly became the most popular trending Google term in the US and, as of Monday, was still the most popular trend in the last week in the UK. On top of all this, social media sleuths have showcased their dubious prowess: finding the personal social media accounts of both Cabot and Byron’s families, as well as claiming that Byron’s wife has, since the Coldplay concert video, removed his last name from her various profiles.

Meanwhile, as is perhaps a natural and depressing consequence of capitalism, brands have also become involved. Paramount posted a famous clip featuring Jack and Rose from Titanic on TikTok with the caption: “POV you’re at a Coldplay concert”. Ryanair, Tesla, and Chipotle all had a pop, too. As did Netflix, which posted a photo of the Atlanta Falcons quarterback Kirk Cousins on X (Twitter), quoting him from season two of the streamer’s documentary series, Quarterback, when he said: “I like Coldplay. One of the best concerts I’ve ever been to was Coldplay.” The moment has also been recreated several times at sporting events across the US. And on TikTok, various clips of the couple have garnered more than 10 million views, with thousands of people delving into what it all means for their respective partners and children.

The sheer magnitude of it all is almost impossible to grasp. And that’s just as an outsider. Imagine what it must be like for those involved, whose lives have been irrevocably changed by a four-second clip. Of course, nobody really knows the outcome – neither Byron nor Cabot have commented publicly, nor have any of their respective family members. And it goes without saying that affairs are objectively wrong, not to mention complex, particularly when they blur professional lines as it appears to have done in this instance. But they’re also nothing new – in a YouGov study carried out in 2015, one in five British adults admitted to having had an affair in the past.

What is new, however, is not only being caught on camera for all the world to see, but your identity being exposed – and those of your friends, family members and associates – against your will shortly after. There were also erroneous claims that a third woman in the clip worked for Astronomer that have since been disproven. Of course, the couple in question was in a public setting, so the risks of being seen were there. But I doubt they went expecting to be filmed and subsequently screened to the world. It’s worth noting, too, that none of us knows the circumstances around either one of these marriages. Not that this apparent behaviour should be justifiable, but there are arguably contexts within which it might be at least a little understandable, like if one partner has already been cheated on, or if the relationship had been falling apart for some time.

Ethics of infidelity aside, these were fundamentally two private people going about their daily lives. The fact that everyone and their aunt now knows their names, as well as those of their family members and are debating the intricate complexities of all their personal lives, is nothing short of terrifying.

In some ways, it feels like a gross breach of human rights. Like something Charlie Brooker would’ve dreamt up for a Black Mirror episode several years ago. Because the power of the internet is such that anonymity has almost been eradicated. Photo-recognition software paired with increasingly savvy AI and some seriously bored TikTok-addicted teenagers means that nobody can really get away with doing anything anymore, even if it’s within the privacy of their own homes.

Just think of the litany of viral screenshots from people’s dating app profiles, or screenshots of conversations with dates. Like the viral Hinge screenshot from 2023 that showed a man (with his photograph visible) suggesting a date venue in Williamsburg, only to be eviscerated by millions of people on X after the woman called him out for suggesting somewhere far away from her home in Manhattan. There are many other instances like this one, with little care being taken to protect anyone’s identities.

This is the world we live in now, one where privacy is merely a fantastical concept, an archaism left to a forgotten past without smartphones and distracted boyfriend memes. Because all of us are only ever one photograph, screenshot, or video away from becoming a worldwide talking point or, as in this case, laughing stock. That’s not to say that such behaviour should be condoned, or allowed to continue without retribution. But people deserve to go about their daily lives without fearing global derision and mockery, even if they’ve made some questionable decisions. It’s a fundamental facet of being human, isn’t it? At least, I always thought it was. Although maybe the Coldplay affair shows us that’s no longer the case, not in our brave new #world.